


be enough.

by stqrryniqhts



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Awesome Michelle Jones, F/M, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Minor Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Deserves Better, Peter Parker Feels, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Has Issues, Peter Parker Has Nightmares, Peter Parker Has Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker in Love, Peter Parker is a Mess, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-09 20:25:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19483357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stqrryniqhts/pseuds/stqrryniqhts
Summary: SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME SPOILERSREAD AT YOUR OWN RISKEver since Mysterio,Peter has never been the same.But there is only one personthat can keep him sane now that Tony is gone,and that is the one and onlyMichelle Jones.





	be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> petermj in this movie has fully captured my heart,,  
> so hope you have fallen in love with them as much as I have <33

_If you were good enough, maybe Tony would still be alive._

The words echo throughout Peter's brain every night, reminding him of all of the horrors he saw in Mysterio's illusions meant to scare him. Every single fear that he's ever had had come to life because of those stupid drones. Every single insecurity Peter could've hinted at, Mr. Beck made fun of him in the most taunting way, and that was by surrounding him with mirrors.

Peter's mind was now painted like this. Everywhere he turns there are mirrors, but there is some kind of way he looks at himself. He looks at himself as if he didn't belong in this world, even in his own body. He wants to be nobody again, and he just wants some rest.

He is constantly tired. Peter wants and needs sleep so badly, yet every time he closes his eyes, the nightmares of the terror that crashed over him when Tony's fake corpse had come up from the ground _steals_ every last ounce of hope he has ever had in the past three weeks.

But the only thing keeping him somewhat grounded, is MJ.

God, he doesn't deserve her. She is beautiful, funny, and can be more dorky than himself sometimes. She knows what she likes and dislikes, she has hopes and dreams of the future that she works hard for, and isn't afraid to call people out when they've done her wrong. All the things Peter wishes he had, but won't even think about doing when the time comes.

You see, ever since he was little and living with his parents, he had known he had social anxiety, and just anxiety in general. He remembers never wanting to go to school or even get out of the house most weekends. It was all because of that _constant overwhelming fear_ of not being good enough for everyone around him.

And Mr. Beck had used that to his own advantage against Peter.

He picked at the boy's insides, saying all the things he knew were lies about himself, yet he had chosen to believe them anyways. The villain had told Peter that he was worthless, a nobody. He had taken the ones he loved and tortured them, right before his own eyes. And then he was thrown into the worst illusion of all of them, Tony's grave. Mysterio made Peter sit there in shock, and he had finally said that Peter _wasn't enough._ That it was all his fault Tony was dead. But how could've the guy known? How could Mr. Beck have known that impossible weighted guilt set upon his shoulders?

Peter wants to believe this is all a dream, that he is still drifting in the soul realm, hearing everyone's voices echo into darkness. When he was there, it was dark, and he was in a black room, nothing in it except for himself and the screams and cries of other people around him.

He had listened to mothers crying for their children, and babies, crying, only stopping because no one was there to care for them. Brothers and sisters and friends, all alone with the screams of other people pounding throughout their entire being.

But of course Peter knew he had it much worse than anyone else in the soul realm. His senses were going haywire, hearing things from god knows how far away, and even the thump thump of his own heartbeat seemed to be eating him alive.

He cried all by himself for so much time, not knowing if this was the end, or if he would forever be trapped until everyone around him had vanished. He knew he could last longer than most, because of his abilities. He knew that maybe, just maybe, if they ever did get back, he would help anyone at all, with any problem they were dealing with when they had come back too. Because he knew what it was like to not be able to do anything, except live.

Peter's mind drifts from the soul realm horrors back to Mysterio's night terrors he was giving him. Just a few hours ago, Peter had woken up again, his heart pounding in his ears and all of the air being sucked out of his lungs. He almost called Tony, and it had hit him all over again.

So here he is, lying on his bed, practically itching and aching for someone to comfort him. He knows he can't keep this up, he can't do this alone anymore. He wishes so badly Tony was here. So, he picks up his phone to call the only other person in his life that might just stay with him for the night.

 _MJ_.

"Peter, it's 3am, what the _fuck_ do you want?" MJ grumbles into the phone. Peter knows that MJ likes her sleep, so he immediately regrets calling her this late.

"I-I'm sorry, I just had a hard time sleeping, that's all. I'm so sorry for calling you in the middle of the night..." Peter rambles for approximately two seconds before MJ gets sick of it.

"Shut up, dork. I'll be over in ten minutes but you have to _promise_ that we'll sleep when I get there, we have the stupid science camp tomorrow." MJ says, and Peter can hear her get up from her bed. She grunts as she stands up, yawning and not hanging up the phone just yet. "Honestly, Parker, this is just another reason why I am the best girlfriend _ever_ , and you cannot say otherwise."

MJ hangs up a little bit later, sneaking out so her parents can't hear. She walks down the alley ways to Peter's apartment, pepper spray and her phone in both hands in case she needs to call Spidey for help. Amazingly, she makes it to the fire escape and hops through Peter's window ten minutes later.

As soon as her feet hit the floor, Peter's arms are wrapped around her tightly, the lump in his throat growing. "Thank you for coming." He mumbles into MJ's shoulder, sniffing the honeysuckle scent in her damp hair. He breathes deeply, reminding himself that this is his place.

This is the one place he can let go, he can feel the weight of guilt and fear dropping from his shoulders the longer and tighter she holds onto him. In MJ's presence, he is finally at peace.

MJ lets go and sets her bag down by the desk in the corner of the room. She brushes away a strand of hair from her face as she looks back up, and Peter decides that it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

  
-

  
"So, do you have nightmares?" MJ asks as they climb into bed. She had already had her shorter than short old sleeping t-shirt on, and some cute volleyball shorts to match it.

But suddenly thoughts of Mysterio and his illusions crash like a wave into his mind, causing more destruction than a tsunami ever could. Peter swallows hard and faces MJ while they lie on their backs under the soft blankets. He turns on his side, and she does the same, listening closely.

"You know how Mysterio... tricked people with those drones? Like, how everything that he projected seemed _so real_?" Peter bites his lip to stop it from trembling. He can't do this. Saying the things he heard and seen made them so much more real than he could ever imagine.

MJ nods her head, blinking sleepily yet still paying close enough attention.

"Well, he used that against me, when you and the others were with Happy." Peter's voice cracks while he is looking anywhere but MJ's face. He's going to let the tsunami in his mind destroy him soon, but he needs to say this out loud. "I saw you, MJ. He used you against me because _you're_ my weakness. He held you on the top of the eiffel tower, and then he _dropped you_." Peter's trembling voice and shaking hands slowly wrap around MJ as she tumbles into him. She isn't used to being so touchy feely in their relationship, but at times like this, Peter needed someone to help him.

Peter's soft cries fill the room, and MJ's heart breaks. She has never seen Peter cry, much less seen him unhappy. The only time she can think of when he was unhappy was Mysterio's doings, much like it is now. She would do anything to take away his pain, not even caring about her own demons she likes to keep hidden away.

Peter trembles in MJ's arms, wanting to tuck away the memories and the terrible things he saw of Tony. He wants to tell MJ, to say what he saw out loud. He needs to, or it might just drive him insane.

"I saw- I saw Tony in the illusions too." Peter chokes out. "I saw his grave, the name carved into the stone. Mysterio said that... that if I would've been enough for him, that Tony would still be alive." He tries to wipe his eyes, but MJ holds his hand and lowers it. She wipes his tear stained cheeks and kisses the teardrops away as they fall, the salty taste on her lips. She holds him until every last ounce of pain is drained from Peter, and he until is so tired that he can finally close his eyes rest. He feels peace within MJ's presence.

"I love you, Peter." She whispers as his brown eyes flutter shut. "You have always been enough."

And so when MJ starts to let go, he holds on tighter.

**Author's Note:**

> I like to believe that in canon, peter parker of the mcu has nightmares of the illusions mysterio made him see. I mean, who wouldn't? the CGI in this movie was unreal and those scenes... whew, it had me terrified when I seen those through Peter's eyes, so I can't even imagine what he was going through.
> 
> also, peep the Hamilton title :))


End file.
